Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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