And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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