She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize