There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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