i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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