Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize