If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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