I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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