I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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