im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Every concussion has its silver lining
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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