I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize