sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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