I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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