He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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