I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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