She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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