i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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