were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize