he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My balls are so social today.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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