I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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