Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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