On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
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Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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