I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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