Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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