Screwed.edu
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize