Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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