Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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