Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize