he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You are the jesus of drinking
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize