the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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