I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
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maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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