Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize