All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
FUCK WHALES
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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