I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize