don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize