Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My vagina just clenched in fear
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize