you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
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I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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