Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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