just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
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I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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