I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i love accidental penises.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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