She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize