Me too!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize