I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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