I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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