Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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