first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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