I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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