Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"

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  (602): I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on" http://tfl.nu/nkzh
  Replies (17) Good night (623) Bad night (3202) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.

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  (516): remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying. http://tfl.nu/1qjh
  Replies (34) Good night (3567) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
  Replies (52) Good night (4750) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.

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  (816): I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ. http://tfl.nu/y7u3
  Replies (16) Good night (4052) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.

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  (586): Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that. http://tfl.nu/5bcj
  Replies (14) Good night (4747) Bad night (2043) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"

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  (715): not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it" http://tfl.nu/1hnw
  Replies (21) Good night (1074) Bad night (4988) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?

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  (651): I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl? http://tfl.nu/nlrb
  Replies (38) Good night (6451) Bad night (1519) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

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  (517): i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go. http://tfl.nu/u5fo
  Replies (13) Good night (2613) Bad night (941) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?

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  (206): Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right? http://tfl.nu/ikqz
  Replies (14) Good night (737) Bad night (5114) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1576) Bad night (4525)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??

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  (250): How do you get a black eye playing beer pong?? http://tfl.nu/dfu2
  Replies (9) Good night (1988) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.

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  (570): Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again. http://tfl.nu/7ky3
  Replies (8) Good night (1938) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU

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  (202): is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU http://tfl.nu/sbbn
  Replies (8) Good night (975) Bad night (494)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

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  (304): I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry http://tfl.nu/4kpv
  Replies (5) Good night (1281) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.

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  (414): Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears. http://tfl.nu/il0c
  Replies (7) Good night (452) Bad night (1507) Order T-Shirt

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