I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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