So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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